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I would like to begin the study with an obvious passage, given the title, and it is found in the Book of Genesis. We read, “And Jacob was left alone; and there wrestled a Man with him until the breaking of the day. And when He saw that He prevailed not against him, He touched the hollow of his thigh; and the hollow of Jacob’s thigh was out of joint as he wrestled with Him. And He said, ‘Let me go, for the day breaketh.’ And he said, ‘I will not let Thee go, except Thou bless me.’

“And He said unto him, ‘What is thy name?’ And he said, ‘Jacob.’ And He said, ‘Thy name shall be called no more Jacob, but Israel, for as a prince hast thou power with God and with men, and hast prevailed.’ And Jacob asked Him, and said, ‘Tell me, I pray Thee, Thy name.’ And He said, ‘Wherefore is it that thou dost ask after My name?’ And He blessed him there. And Jacob called the name of the place Peniel [The Face of El(ohim)], “for I have seen God face to face, and my life is preserved.’” (Gen 32:24-30)

The One with whom Jacob wrestled is called a “Man,” “God,” and the Prophet Hosea also calls him “the Angel.” This figure can be none other than Christ, for He is manifest in all three roles at different times. Furthermore, it is a uniquely Adventist understanding of Yahshua that this passage reveals, for no other system of faith properly understands His nature as the representative of the Father to both men and to His angelic servants. While this is a fascinating window into the nature of divinity, what I would like to focus on today is the exchange between Yahshua and Jacob, the former saying, “Let me go,” and Jacob’s response, “I will not let Thee go, except Thou bless me.”

Yahshua is described here as eager to depart, citing the lateness of the hour, with daylight about to emerge, and Jacob’s trial (in this instance, the meeting with his betrayed brother Esau) about to take place. The Angel would have left, and Jacob would not have been blessed, even after all of his physical efforts, if Jacob had not insisted on holding on to the divine Messenger. If Jacob had permitted it, Yahshua would have departed, and Jacob’s labor would have been for nothing. He knew that his work, strenuous as it had been, would not bring about the blessing. That could only occur if the Savior spoke the words, and confirmed his coming success. Now Christ, seeing that Jacob had not only diligence, but also faith – faith in the Word of Yahweh – blessed him. And notice how He blessed Him. The first thing He did was to give him an appropriate name, an additional name one that represented his character and destiny, and then He imparted a blessing to him for his upcoming challenges. Even though Yahshua said, “Thy name shall be called no more Jacob,” the Scriptures do record times at which he was called Jacob thereafter, so it was not a strict replacement, but an additional, proper name to indicate his most recent miraculous experience.

These are matters that must not be forgotten, for the saints, the People of Spiritual Israel, also have an application to draw here. We must each, individually and as a collective Body, face the challenges of the Time of Trouble. Our Savior has given us two things to preserve us in these dark times, exactly as He did with Jacob, the prototype of Israel: the first is a name, which builds on a previous name rather than replacing it and that represents who we are, and the second is a promise of victory. Shall we not rejoice that these gifts are offered to us? I could end the study here… but I would like to go on a bit longer and really emphasize something in Jacob’s experience that the saints must also possess, or they will risk great loss, and eternal consequences.

Yahweh has been calling to me all of my life. I did not always recognize His voice, but there are two times at which it was utterly unmistakable. The first time was when I was 19 years old, and several of my friends had been converted to Adventism. They began to come by my house to evangelize me, and at first I was quite resistant to it. Of course, it was the typical SDA evangelism approach, about the importance of keeping the fourth commandment, that the pope was the antichrist, and that ham was an abomination to our bodies. As a member of the genuine Bride of Christ, I can look back on that and critique the methods they used, and the topics they focused on, mostly works and little faith… but the truth is that this was the message I could understand at that point in my life. It was what I needed.

Furthermore, when they were not speaking to me personally, the things they were saying would not leave me alone. Years after this, I would read a particular verse of the Bible, and I would say, “Oh, that is what that was! I understand exactly what this means.” The verse is recounting the words of a group of early disciples who realized that they had been speaking to the resurrected Yahshua, “And they said one to another, ‘Did not our heart burn within us while He talked with us by the way, and while He opened to us the Scriptures?’” (Luke 24:32)

Be cautious, though… this verse has been misused. Some groups like the Mormon Church will misrepresent this experience, and say that the feeling itself is proof of spiritual truth. They will say, “Listen to us speak of our religion, and then pray for a burning in your heart to confirm that it is true.” That is not the way the Bible describes this, and it is not the way it was presented to me. I did not ask for a sensation-based proof that what my friends were saying was true. The disciples, when they felt it, did not realize that they had been speaking to Christ, or even hearing the truth at all, because of the sensation. Afterwards, when they understood the message as true because of the message itself, because of agreement with the principles being revealed, only then was the sensation understood to be a supernatural confirmation. And so, just like the doctrine of “speaking in tongues,” we have counterfeit religions that will have some of the right words to sound Biblical, but their use of the light that has been given is terribly perverted in their hands. I will tell you in a moment what that burning sensation actually is.

The second time the Voice of Yahweh came to me unmistakably was during an experience almost identical in nature and meaning to what we just read concerning Jacob. Despite my joining the SDA Church in response to my friends’ efforts, within a year I found myself the only one of this group that remained an active member of the local congregation. The others had all fallen away… and again, looking back it is obvious why – they had, believed, and taught, a works-based religion, which is exactly what mainstream Seventh-day Adventism has become. There was no talk of victory over sin, except periodically and unreliably. There was the looming condemnation of The Investigative Judgment, which is taught in modern Adventism exactly contrary to an organized, loving process designed to confirm the consistent faith of the saints, rather than to catch us in an invisible snare.

I truly believed that Yahweh had called me to be a Seventh-day Adventist, but I just couldn’t reconcile the things I was being taught with what I understood from the Scriptures and Ellen White. And I am not trying to portray myself as some wise and principled scholar here… I didn’t know how to read for principle. I didn’t know how to deal with the fact that in the “compilation” Spirit of Prophecy books, Ellen White comes across as very strict and legalistic, rather than the voice that comes through when we read something she wrote more-or-less as a narrative unit, like The Desire of Ages. I was confused, I was annoyed that I was alone among relative strangers, and so I also lost interest eventually, and went back into the world.

Worse, I fell into open sin, and by the time conscience awakened in me, I was deeply involved in things so terrible that most of the world would not believe they were real. There was also the nature of my romantic entanglement which was, shall we say, contrary to the commandments.

But then, as in Jacob’s case, an angel came to me. Most of you have heard me speaking a little about this experience in the past, but there are some aspects of it that I don’t think I have ever related before now, and it is important that I do so in order to explain what the Spirit showed me for this week’s study.

Unlike the account in Genesis, I could not say that this angel who came to me was Christ Himself. I did not get any such impression as that – in fact, considering that Yahshua has remained human since His incarnation, I am certain it was not Him in Person, but that does not matter in the least. He carried the Word of Yahweh. I did not see him with my physical eyes, but there was a definite impression that I can “translate” into a description. He was much taller than I was. He was dressed in pure, white garments. He had wings, but I could not get an idea of their size. His face I could not see either, although his expression was revealed to be loving, but stern. I don’t think his face is always stern, but considering the reason for his presence before me, it was fitting. I do not want to add anything here that might be incorrect, or due to my memory weakening over time, so I won’t say any more about this impression of appearance.

The important part is what he did. He made me aware, with words that created perfect pictures in my mind, with no possibility of misunderstanding, that I was at a crossroads, and that the choice I was being called to make would affect everything about my life going forward. I saw one pathway leading into darkness, and another leading into light. I could not see what lay at the end of either road, but it was clear that they were heading in opposite directions, with one infinitely better than the other.

I won’t describe all that took place at that time, but I know that for seven days I was in conflict with this angel. It was not a physical battle, but a struggle to accept what was being shown to me, a struggle not to justify what I was doing with my life, a struggle to be willing to die, really die, to who I thought I was, and to accept a life that had been prepared for me by Another.

Finally, there came a point near the end when it came into my mind to curse the angel, to directly call it a demon for trying to steal my happiness, and to command it to leave me alone. If you can understand, by that point I was exhausted. I had been in tears frequently for almost a week. My body was rebelling against the purity of the angel’s light that was in my presence. I could not trust my own thoughts. Here was an escape, a way out… if I would just curse the angel and tell him to leave me alone, he would have to obey. I know now that God does not use force – He may press, but He does not ever violate our will – but back then I only knew how to drive the angel away because my flesh and my familiar spiritual friends told me.

I also knew, and here is a major point, that to delay in making my decision about this crossroads was the same thing as deciding against the path of light. The angel would not strive with me forever. Actually, I knew that the time was growing short, and that my flesh would compel me down the dark pathway by default. And so, I had two ways to escape my torment. I could tell the angel to go away, or I could just endure it a while longer, and it would be over. And yet, I could not do either of those things. I knew in my very heart that the visitor did not come to harm me, rather to help. I knew that this help would come at what I considered at the time to be a heavy cost. The demons pushed every button that they could… my most acute insecurities, my deepest fears, my conflicting desires to be separate from everyone else, but never truly alone. It was only by Yahweh’s purest grace that I did not give in, and perhaps it was partly that they pushed too hard, but I decided that I did not want to continue on the path I currently traveled, and I told the angel that I would accept any offer it provided me, and any help that it was commissioned to give.

Because of the nature of my sins, this actually seemed to make things worse, at least for a while. That burning sensation in my chest was back, but this time it spread out over my whole body, running through my veins and arteries… and it really felt like death. It felt like my blood was on fire, and I am almost certain that at one point my heart stopped. That is what the burning is… it is a purifying. It is a healing. It is a consuming fire that works within us, separate from our conscious processes, to set things right in our spirits. Cowardice, perverse lusts, laziness, those things we don’t know how to get rid of… those things we don’t even know how to pray away… those things the Spirit of Yahweh cleanses away, even before we know how to ask. (Rom 8:26) As it is written, “When the unclean spirit is gone out of a man, he walketh through dry places, seeking rest, and findeth none. Then he saith, ‘I will return into my house from whence I came out; and when he is come, he findeth it empty, swept, and garnished.’” (Mat 12:43, 44)

It is the acceptance of righteousness by faith that prevents a demon from re-entering a human out of which it has been cast, but the emptying, the sweeping, the garnishing, this is what the fire of Yahweh does.

Again, I am trying to be brief… the details are not all that relevant for this study, and some things are only for me, that I will never talk about… but I want you to understand a little bit about why this experience, this seven days of wrestling, has affected every day of my life since then, and why I can recall it, and marvel at it, twenty-two years later.

I know that Jacob spent every day of the rest of his life remembering that night, and why everything changed for him after that… his name, yes, but the utter transformation of his motives, his ambitions, his goals. But this experience did not make Jacob a great teacher… we know this from the rest of Genesis. Likewise, I am not telling you any of this to say, “Pay attention to me, and believe everything I tell you, because this happened to me.” It is with great hesitation that I speak of these matters, drawing attention to it only when necessary. It is not information for the world to know, although it may benefit those whom Yahweh has called to be His People. You are blessed to know that there is an angel standing before each of you, who are not yet Covenanted with the Father and Son… and there is an angel guiding those who are. We need to understand the roles of those messengers.

The Angel that Jacob wrestled, and the angel with whom I wrestled, are not metaphors for the human conscience. I want to make that very, very clear. They are real, personal beings, who are sent to help consciences that are not yet sensitive enough for what they are intended to do. They are greater than our consciences, and have wisdom beyond what we know. I could feel this angel pressing on me when I was walking, when I was in the classroom (because I was a student at the time), and especially when I was alone, like in the shower, or trying to sleep. At that point in my life, I knew very well how to soothe my conscience, how to ignore it, how to justify rejecting it… this was something different. It was not something I could reason away. The frightening part is how much power our Father gives us. If I had commanded the angel to leave, even this mighty being, it would have left. If Jacob had let Yahshua go that night, He would have departed. Our Father does not force His blessings on the unwilling.

And yes, I could have just waited. I could have said to the angel, “I am not ready for this. Come back to me another time, and perhaps I will be able to submit to your offer.” But I knew that if I said that, the angel would not return. This is a very solemn matter, because there are some reading this who have said to their angels, perhaps more than once, “I am not ready for this. Come back to me another time.” Even if you did not use those exact words, or even spoken words at all, you have said such things.

To these I say, with a straight testimony: so far your ignorance has been a shield. Because you did not know what you were delaying, because you did not know you were saying, “No, not now,” to Yahweh the Almighty One, there is a little light left on your pathway. But the time is so short, and there is so much work to do, that Yahweh will call another if you are not willing to cooperate with Him. Because He loves you, and wants to be one with you, He risks the souls of others… others whom He loves equally. He permits you to delay, knowing that there are others who need to hear His voice. And the sick tragedy of it is, the idea that you aren’t ready, the idea that you lack something you need, that the Savior hasn’t been offering you, is the very lie of the Devil that you most need to vomit up as rotten food, and cast away forever. Understand what I am saying… I am making you accountable for this light, but do not run from it. Let it guide you, so that you will once and for all make the right choice. It is all laid out before you: Repentance, Faith, Baptism. Those are the principles of the Three Angels sent to the world for the salvation of man.

For those of us who are born again, we are called to minister to people who are in the midst of this struggle… some among us, and some whom we are sent into the world to meet.

When we talk to people, we see some of them hearing, understanding, believing what we say, but putting it off. They do not understand that their angel is with them, giving them the strength to make the right choice. They will not think they have the strength. Satan will tell them they do not, and that there is no need to make the decision right then anyway, because they are not ready to live with the consequences. Self dies when this choice is made, and Christ lives in the believer. That is not pleasant news to the carnal “self.” We need to explain to them that whatever the test they are facing, whether to be converted and take up the testimony of victory over sin, or to give up some false doctrine, or to unite with the Bride of Yahshua in covenant membership, it is truly Good News that they can choose Yahweh and His will. They do not need to think about how they will do it tomorrow, or next week, or next month. The angel is here with them now, in that very moment, and gives them the power to make the choice, and in Yahshua’s name will always be with them to strengthen them to abide in the decision forever. They need to hear this. Angels do not get tired. They do not need a break, or get distracted when it comes to their ministry for us, who are the heirs of salvation. But they can be ordered away. They can be dismissed by either open rejection, or a consistent commitment to delay.

We must understand how this works. We must warn the people who hear our words, and our invitation. Delaying the decision makes it harder. It breaks more of one’s soul apart, so that there is less strength in you as a saint than there would be. This is a very deep subject, the science of the soul, but those who are waiting for a more convenient season are very much harming themselves. They are lessening their capacity for blessings. I say this: If you are not yet born again, you will never be a stronger, more powerful, more useful saint, than if you choose to be one this very moment. If you decide to be a Christian tomorrow, you lose the blessing of being a Christian today, and you can never get that blessing back, because we are finite, fragile creatures, subject to time. Furthermore, the thing you might have learned from Yahweh today as His covenanted child might be the thing that would aid you in guiding another soul from death tomorrow.

These are larger matters than we realize, bound up in these decisions. Yahweh covers ignorance, yes, and His longsuffering has been to our salvation, but the consequences of anything less than immediate submission to His will are always present. Every delay sears the conscience a little, and ignorance is an unreliable shield. Whether it is victory, the truth of some doctrine, or the unity of Church membership, any of the Three Angels, which form a “doorway” in the plan of salvation… delay in these things weakens the capacity to make them useful weapons in our spiritual warfare.

And again, let me be clear… In this matter as in no other, the reasons why people resist Yahweh is sin. I do not mean it is merely “because” of sin, but it is sin itself – a transgression of the Law. Human emotions are not God, but when Yahweh invites you to His Family, it means that you are ready. Unfortunately, many will be ready, because Yahweh has called them, but they will not “feel” ready and, preferring their feelings to the Creator, will choose another god before Him, (Exo 20:3) the god of their own emotions. It is this, not Trinitarianism, or Sunday-worship, or any other doctrinal position that can be expressed in words, that is a true violation of the First Commandment. The saints must know the difference. Truth is not something that Satan can manipulate, but emotions are. Therefore, when Yahweh says, “Come to me, and I will give you rest,” but your emotions tell you that you aren’t ready, be very careful… to choose the feelings rather than the truth as it is spoken by the Father and Son is to walk on Satan’s own familiar ground.

Some will deceive themselves and say, “I am not ready to open the door yet, but as long as I hear Christ knocking, I am going to be okay. As long as I find beauty in a Bible study, I am on the right path.” What does the Bible say about this? “And I will say to my soul, ‘Soul, thou hast much goods laid up for many years; take thine ease, eat, drink, and be merry.’ But God said unto him, ‘Thou fool, this night thy soul shall be required of thee; then whose shall those things be, which thou hast provided?’” (Luke 12:19, 20)

This laying up of goods does not have to be any material thing. It can be the comfort of a familiar fellowship. It can be the sensation of slow, gradual spiritual growth. It can be complacency, or some cherished evil. It does not matter…the deception is the same, the idea that you’ll have time, some future point at which you are going to be strong enough, to put it all away and “really get serious” about this Christianity thing. “Thou fool,” Yahweh says, for thinking that His mercy can be so casually accounted. You hear the knocking at the door now; that is good. But do not flatter yourself that you will hear the knocking tomorrow. There will come a “tomorrow” on which the Divine Visitor will have moved on.

I do not often give studies like this, of such a personal nature, but the Spirit moved on me to speak no less, and to share my testimony to assure you that it is going to be okay, that this choice before you is good. Choosing Yahweh, rather than your feelings of unworthiness, and un-readiness, is the only right option. I understand that for some, emotions are a considerable barrier. I have shared with the Church before that on the morning of my wedding, I was feeling extremely nervous. In fact, Brother P. here had to assure me that it was going to be okay, when he saw me probably looking a bit ill. There was this powerful sensation that my whole life was about to change; it felt a little bit out of control, a little bit too “big” for me… but having made the decision to do it, I have to testify that it was the second best decision of my whole life. The best, I spoke of earlier in this study.

Let us not soften the importance of this matter. Nobody can safely dance around with the issue of eternal salvation when what they need to do is say, “I will,” and settle their minds that the playing is over, that the childish things of waiting on one’s feelings must be put away. It is childishness to let one’s emotions and feelings decide what truth is. Newborn babies do not know any truth, all they know is how they feel. That is their entire motive for acting. As we grow, we learn about objective truth, and how to subdue the desires of the flesh: hunger, thirst, and so on, for the greater good. It is a sign of maturity that we act on principles, on our knowledge of truth, rather than emotions and sensations. Now is the time to choose, then, before mere childishness becomes actual idolatry, and the soul is therefore ruined.

And one final matter as we conclude: Consider the agape-angle on this, for your salvation is not for you alone. Everyone who hears of Righteousness by Faith must get it right in order to help others. Some have said about the message of the CSDA Church, “I love this teaching. I need to share it with my friends and family.” It is good that this or that teaching is impressive to you, but is it killing sin in your heart? Is it drawing you into true, Christian unity? Is it healing you of your past, negative experiences with religion, churches, and the hypocrisy of others? If it is not doing all of that, then you haven’t grasped it yet. And your desire is a good one, of course; your love for and desire to help your friends and family IS your love for Yahweh, but it is restrained, constrained, by carnal considerations that must be put away before that love can produce eternal fruit. So, let us again identify what we are talking about here: Delay. It is childishness, rather than spiritual maturity. It is idolatry, because it makes feelings the decision-making power, rather than the divinely guided will. It is, worst of all, selfishness; it keeps one’s gifts and example away from those who need it in order to themselves come to know the savior. Delay is selfishness, delay is sin, and delay is death.

Yahweh does not use force… this we know. But He does use pressure. He wrestled with Jacob. He wrestled with me through one of His angels. He wrestles with the consciences of those who hear the messages of the Thee Gospel Angels of Revelation 14. First, Come Forth: come to life and cease from sin. Some struggle to accept that angel. Second, Come Out: come out of Babylon, confusion, and fallen religious organizations. Some resist the gift of that angel. Third, Come Here: come and stand in unity with the People of Yahweh, who protest against the Beast and his Image, and so avoid taking his mark. Some wrestle with the message of that angel. Choose this day whom you will serve.

Heed these things today, while they are at the strongest they will ever be with your heart and mind, for the ones for whom Yahshua is returning are virgins, who love the light the very first time they see and hear it, at first contact with the truth, and who let it transform them in the pristine purity of its newborn strength. This is the desire or our Father in Heaven for every one of His beloved children.

David.

An Enduring Witness

“How many at times have been deeply stirred, and yet because duty demanded a sacrifice, they have tampered with their conscience, seated themselves in the enemy's debating chair, and have not made the decision that God sought to have them make. They have not broken away from the associates whose seductive influence for evil, led them to follow their own carnal reasoning, and because there was not evidence of any immediate danger, they have rested down in their false security. They have debated in their minds, saying, Shall I obey the voice of God that bids me shake off the lethargy of the world, and escape from the world as did Lot from Sodom, or shall I listen to the voice of the world that cries peace and safety to my soul? Shall I wait for a more convenient season? All the sophistry of Satan is bound up in that one word, ‘wait.’ O that those who are now moved by the Spirit of God, would make a decided stand for God and for the truth!” [The Review and Herald, September 19, 1893]

“Your only safety is in coming to Christ, and ceasing from sin this very moment. The sweet voice of mercy is sounding in your ears today, but who can tell if it will sound tomorrow?” [The Signs of the Times, August 29, 1892]

“The fact that a man is not a hypocrite does not make him any the less really a sinner. When the appeals of the Holy Spirit come to the heart, our only safety lies in responding to them without delay. When the call comes, ‘Go work today in My vineyard,’ do not refuse the invitation. ‘Today if ye will hear His voice, harden not your hearts.’ Hebrews 4:7. It is unsafe to delay obedience. You may never hear the invitation again.” [Christ’s Object Lessons, p. 280]

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